Resolution: Survival

If you feel like a failure this year, you’re in good company.

I have been quiet lately and stayed away from social media. Every time I felt like I had something worth saying, something new happened and I had to jump back into my cave, draw the curtains, and focus on taking care of myself.

I’ve emerged for a moment to simply tell you that if all you did was survive, you are not alone.

Let’s skip the reflection on 2020. It will take years to process what has happened and it is almost impossible to process pain while it is still happening.

This year I’m not making a long list of resolutions, I’m just trying to take care of myself and those around me (but mostly myself). This feels selfish, even as I write it. But taking care of myself is not just a nice thing to do – it is necessary for my survival.

And survival is my only resolution.

As we transition into 2021, with many of the same anxieties that have been haunting us all year long, I am simply giving myself some reminders.

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Create

I avoided using the phrase, “be creative,” because for me, it conjures up an image of someone wearing colorful clothes, hanging out in their studio and making a full time living from their art. It sounds beautiful and idyllic, and also, like way too much pressure.

By telling myself I want to simply create in 2021, I am reminding myself that the purpose is the process, not the outcome.

Having to spend a lot of time indoors makes for a great opportunity for some low stress creating. Creating can take so many forms. For me it looks like writing, baking, painting, and collaging. For others it may look like knitting, drawing, cooking or a million other ways to get some energy out.

Connect with someone I care about

This reminder purposefully includes vague terms to keep this flexible and meaningful.

As much as I enjoy solitude, this year has reminded me that we are meant to be with others. We are meant to share our pain, sorrow, laughter and joy. Every good thing is meant to give hope. Every bad thing is meant to teach. Hope grows faster and lesson stick better when they are shared.

And we don’t have to see each other in person to connect.

Connecting for me is usually through text message. But phone and video calls are proving necessary. As long as I’ve put effort and love into the communication, it counts as connection.

Move my body

This is for me to remember to inhabit my body and take care of it. I am not getting tied up in trying to work out for a set amount of time, exercise a certain number of days per week, or create any sort of goal.

All I want to do is remember to move. I want to remember to stretch and yawn and walk and dance and enjoy the movement. I want to feel my body taking up space.

I acknowledge that we all experience our bodies in different ways. My movement may not look like your movement. And that is perfectly beautiful.

Accept who and where I am

They say comparison is the thief of joy and I get that. Comparing others’ lives to my own leaves me feeling drained and inadequate.

I have also learned that comparing myself to former, “better,” versions of myself will also steal my joy. What’s more, comparing myself to some made up, perfect, future version of myself is even more damaging.

Sure, there have been times in the past when I was more focused and better able to meet my goals. Shoot, there were times in my life when I had the energy to create actual goals. Seems like a lifetime ago.

This year I will not set up standards only to be disappointed when I don’t meet them. I will simply look at this list of reminders to myself and love myself for trying.

Try to make the world better

This one is the most challenging, because it is as large as the universe and as tiny as a grain of sand.

To try to make the world better means so many different things.

It means learning more, caring more, and loving more. It means giving my energy and support to community organizations that help others. It means being kinder.

It means loving myself stronger. The more carefully I tend the garden inside my heart, the more abundance I have to share.

I made sure to include the word “try.” Because this is done in so many ways and there are so many opportunities for failure. It is important to remind myself that I will not always get it right, but that doesn’t mean I should stop.

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Whatever your plans, dreams and wishes for the new year, I am here to simply remind you – never stop trying.

And if you’re in a rough place with me, let’s let ourselves off the damn hook.

Let’s lean on each other and make survival our only resolution.